Lessons in Letters

Posted on Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 12:32 PM

Don't be so quick to toss those fund-raising letters in the garbage. There's a journalistic lesson in those letters.

By Peter Jacobi

The message came to me some years ago. I can't remember when. But it has stuck with me: "It's like caring for a 150-pound infant who needs constant attention ... an infant who asks you the same question 50 times a day ... an infant who will never grow up. There's no peace, no time to rest."

Captivating Message

My eyes were drawn to the words, so much so that I continued to look at them, ignoring that there were words above that message and words aplenty below. I'd never really focused on the issue raised in that draining narrative. It brought a "Wow" into my mind and heart. And then, suddenly -- when my eyes moved to the top of the page bearing that striking message -- its contextual meaning came to me; it hit me. The page had a letterhead: "Alzheimer's Family Relief Program," and the following words just beneath in smaller type, "A helping hand in a time of crisis."

Shifting down to the initial message, I discovered that its words were attributed to an "Alzheimer's victim's husband."

As I've mentioned to you from time to time, I receive tons of such letters, promotional letters, fund-raising letters. The more I respond with a check, the more such letters I get, often along with calendars. And certainly by the thousands they've come to me via my mailbox since the missive from the Alzheimer's Family Relief Program, to which I did answer with what they hoped for, a check. I'm sure you know the game, in all-too-many cases a very serious game dealing with some sort of crisis or expanding problem.

The letters differ in approach and language style, in what follows informationally and tone. This particular letter required more narrative in informational extension of the "no peace, no rest" call of desperation that so overwhelmed me emotionally. I wanted to know more. I needed to know more, less in reaction than seeking greater knowledge and understanding.

The writer appears to have predicted his readers' needs. "Dear Friend," he or she started, "They call it the 16-hour day -- for good reason. It's the plight of anyone who takes care of an Alzheimer's disease victim at home ... perhaps the most difficult job any of us might undertake. Let me outline one husband's daily routine, now that Alzheimer's disease has robbed his wife of her mind, her memory, even her personality."

We've been given entry. The writer continues: "His day starts early, when his wife pounds on the locked door of her bedroom (he put a lock on her door to keep her from wandering away during the night). When he unlocks her door, she stares at him as if she's never seen him before. 'Who are you,' she asks him, though they've been married for 43 years. She asks him these questions over and over during the course of their day. She can't remember his answers for more than a minute or two.

"He leads her gently to the bathroom so she won't have an 'accident.' So many times she can't remember where the bathroom is, or simply forgets that she needs to go there, or why. He joins her in the bathroom to encourage her to comb her hair."

And so it goes throughout another harrowing day. Although I was sold with the pre-narrative quote, I gain from what the rest of the husband's story conveys. This is a provocative and evocative fund-raising letter. It provides a compelling argument strengthened by sincere storytelling and detailed expository support.

Solid Information and Writing with Gusto

I have no idea whether you write such letters. No matter, if not. The letter above can be easily turned into a feature story for your newsletter. We're talking about solid information and writing with gusto. That's a working motto for us to practice. I happen to be a wide-ranging reader. I write nonfiction material for adults. But I learn from the fiction I read. I learn from the children's books and articles I read, fiction and nonfiction. I learn from the poetry I read. I learn from what's entertaining, what's educational, what's inspirational. I keep loads and loads of samples, every item saved to help me strengthen my work as a writer. And, of course, I also learn from editing what my students and other clients write.

When I receive those letters, asking for financial or another sort of help, I read not just to determine a yes or no in giving but to learn, so to sharpen my craft. Don't throw away those letters, even the ones you choose not even to open and tend to toss immediately into the wastebasket. Don't toss. Read, then toss after you've made full professional use of what another writer has sent you.

Telling an Interactive and Touching Story

Wildcare, Inc. is a shelter, hospital, hospice and rehabilitation center here in Bloomington, to which my wife periodically delivers troubled animals. In a recent fund-raising letter, the folks at Wildcare told us about Alestor the crow and Loki, an arctic fox kit.

Alestor's bio says, in part: "At only a few days old, a beautiful, blue-eyed American crow experienced a horrible trauma, both physically and mentally. Over the course of several days, this young crow was beaten with sticks by a group of young boys. American crows are an extremely intelligent, self-aware, emotional and nurturing species. The young crow's family did everything they could to protect him. They cried for him, cared for him, and mourned his loss as he was taken for rehabilitation. He would not have survived the first night following the abuse had his family not cared for him, bringing him food, water and comfort. His beak was shattered, his jaw broken into more than 30 pieces, and his right eye was lost by the time he was rescued. His rehabilitation was not easy, and his prognosis was poor."

But Alestor survived, thanks to Wildcare. All of his problems could not be solved, but he's now a "permanent resident" at the shelter. "Alestor is slowly learning to trust humans, and he shows immense affection towards those who have already earned it. He is overcoming his disabilities and surprises us every day with his extraordinary problem solving abilities. It is an incredible experience to watch him flourish, despite his debilitating beginning."

How can we not give when Alestor's story and interaction with Wildcare is so touching?

As for Loki, he was found in downtown Bloomington "in very bad shape. He was severely underweight, his fur was missing in patches and it was matted with fly eggs and feces. His growth had been stunted from improper care, so we estimated he was around four weeks old.

"Every day, we worried that he wouldn't make it," Loki's story continues. "A highly-trained team of volunteers and staff were assigned to oversee the fox kit while he was in critical condition. It took him several days before he was able to eat on his own without human assistance. His initial diet was a specialized fox formula, and then he advanced to soft, solid foods. He was bathed daily. The kit's caretakers used toys and intersected with him multiple times a day to help rebuild the muscles in his legs that had suffered atrophy."

Loki now lives at the shelter, happy to reside with another fox. How can we not give when Loki's story, again, is so touching?

I could give you an endless flow of examples, but each one that strikes me (and probably would strike you, too) in some way uses facts that make the case and language that expresses the case with language that makes a reader care. There's a journalistic lesson in those letters.

Peter P. Jacobi is a Professor Emeritus at Indiana University. He is a writing and editing consultant for numerous associations and magazines, speech coach, and workshop leader for various institutions and corporations. He can be reached at 812-334-0063.

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Reliable Sources, Accessible Sources, Part II

Posted on Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 12:31 PM

Has a culture of non-cooperation emerged that impedes our access to good sources?

By William Dunkerley

In Part I you saw the foundational considerations for identifying who or what organizations might be credible sources. But what's an editor to do if she or he is unable to gain access to such sources?

The Society of Professional Journalists has taken up the mantle of journalists' needs to have access to key sources of information. In particular it decries a perceived trend by governmental and private organizations to cloister their experts and key personnel. In 2015 SPJ told the Obama administration: "The press has seen a serious regression in our ability to gather news when compared to earlier administrations."

One of many examples cited was the refusal of the FDA to answer a question about ebola. Joyce Frieden, news editor at MedPage Today, had sought an interview to clarify information from an earlier FDA conference. But, she says, "I was basically stonewalled."

SPJ pointed out that "in the past, reporters talked with many people fluidly, including subject matter experts, as well as PIOs and political appointees." But now gatekeepers seem to be obstructing things.

This is a problem not only for mainstream news journalists covering governmental issues, but for journalists and editors in all fields of publication.

The organization told the Obama administration:

"Surveys sponsored or co-sponsored by SPJ have documented that the restrictions are pervasive in many areas of the country, to the point they are a cultural norm. They are used in state and local governments, schools, hospitals, police departments, business and other organizations."

Bob Neubauer, editor-in-chief of In-Plant Graphics, bemoans the same basic issue. His audience consists of managers of in-plant printing facilities nationwide.

Recently he contrasted his present experience in accessing sources with how things were back in the 1980s. Neubauer reflected:

"It was a different world back then, where in-plants were strong and vibrant, not living in fear of a shutdown. They were vocal about the number of pages they printed, the new iron they were adding, the money they were saving. Companies like Merck Pharmaceuticals, Phillips Petroleum, and McDonnell Douglas were more than happy to boast about their in-plants to this magazine."

Now things are different for Neubauer. Interviews are harder to come by. And that perhaps gives credence to SPJ's contention that a culture has emerged that favors strict restrictions on access to the sources that are sought by editors and journalists.

Newbauer elaborates:

"These days the tendency is for large corporations with in-plants to keep them hush-hush, like a dark secret. I get turned down all the time in my quest to feature these companies' in-plants in IPG. The large pharmaceutical, aerospace, and retail in-plants have not all been shut down; they're just staying silent, no longer allowed to brag of their accomplishments and money-saving benefits. The result is that the in-plant industry seems smaller and less significant now (and filled mostly with university in-plants, who are happy to have their operations featured)."

Given the pervasive culture of non-cooperation that has asserted itself, it's not likely there will a quick solution. But with a new presidential administration, SPJ wrote to Donald Trump and Mike Pence to express continued concerns over unsatisfactory access to government sources and to request a meeting to discuss the problem. Certainly a new attitude of cooperation from the White House might set an example for both government and industry.

Editors Only asked SPJ officials if they received a response to their overture. Jennifer Royer, communications strategist for the organization, told us that as of Friday, February 24, nothing has been received.

SPJ president Lynn Walsh added, "We are planning on following up soon because we still feel a meeting with [Trump] and his administration is very important, especially with the news today of some news organizations being left out of a press briefing."

William Dunkerley is principal of William Dunkerley Publishing Consultants, www.publishinghelp.com.

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The Fog Index

Posted on Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 12:26 PM

Assessing the readability of a WashingtonPost.com excerpt.

This month's sample Fog Index text comes from a February 24 article WashingtonPost.com article ("Listen, Technology Holdouts: Enough Is Enough" by Larry Downes). Here's the text we're analyzing:

"To overcome the inertia of legacy customers, it may be appropriate for governments to step in. The United States has long had programs aimed at making broadband more affordable for lower-income Americans and more accessible for those living in sparsely populated areas. On Thursday, the FCC unanimously approved the allocation of up to $2 billion in additional taxpayer funds for rural broadband build-out in areas where private investment cannot be cost-justified. Total support for rural broadband could reach $20 billion over the next decade. (The devil, however, will be in the details. A government audit found that an earlier Agriculture Department effort to expand rural broadband wasted $3 billion of stimulus money.)"

--Word count: 112 words
--Average sentence length: 19 words (16, 26, 29, 13, 8, 20)
--Words with 3+ syllables: 15 percent (17/112 words)
--Fog Index: (19+14)*.4 = 13 (13.6, no rounding)

There isn't much Fog to cut through here, but we do want to shave 2 points from our score of 13. Let's try some modest edits to get where we want to go.

"To overcome the inertia of legacy customers, governments may need to step in. The United States has long had programs aimed at making broadband cheaper for lower-income Americans and more accessible for those living in more rural regions. On Thursday, the FCC unanimously approved up to $2 billion in additional taxpayer funds for rural broadband build-out in areas where private investment cannot be cost-justified. Total support for rural broadband could reach $20 billion over the next decade. (The devil, however, will be in the details. A government audit found that an earlier Agriculture Department effort to expand rural broadband wasted $3 billion of stimulus money.)"

--Word count: 105 words
--Average sentence length: 18 words (13, 25, 26, 13, 8, 20)
--Words with 3+ syllables: 11 percent (12/105 words)
--Fog Index: (18+11)*.4 = 11 (11.6, no rounding)

We weren't able to do much sentence shortening here. There were few logical places to split up longer sentences, so we did some minor trimming to cut overall word count by 7. This helped us shave 1 point from the average sentence length. The bulk of our efforts went toward reducing the number of longer words. We were able to cut this by 4 points, bringing the Fog Index within ideal range.

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Magazine Brands Teaming Up with Book Publishers

Posted on Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 12:22 PM

In the news: Magazine brands are reaching out to book publishers to forge cross-brand partnerships.

Earlier this month, New York magazine has inked a book deal with Big Five publisher Simon & Schuster. The deal is for a four-book series about the city, chronicling the magazine's coverage thereof over the years. The first book is due out in November 2017.

Elsewhere, independent publisher Globe Pequot signed a three-year publishing partnership with Outside magazine. The first book is slated for October publication.

About this trend, Sara Guaglione of MediaPost.com writes: "Book publishing helps publishers diversify their business in an era when print advertising revenue is declining." Read more about both book deals here and here.

Also Notable

Consolidation in the Magazine Industry?

Last week, Natalie Walters of TheStreet.com pub discussed a trend toward consolidation in the print magazine industry. With print on the decline, publishers are restructuring, laying off, merging and acquiring, and diversifying their platforms. Walters examines five publishers rumored to be "on the block or attracting interest." Read which ones here.

The Real Journalism

This month, John Palumbo of Foliomag.com discussed some of the present challenges journalists are facing, particularly in an age when native advertising has blurred the line between editorial and advertorial. The three main challenges, per the article's headline: "Fake News, Native Ads, and Alternative Facts." Read more here.

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